frugal

because of my ambition to get myself a laptop barely two months on overseas business trip, i am now scrimping till the next next payday, thank you very much. the two 'next's are not typo error, they're for real.

it's been a while since i've been this broke. weeell, there was a time when i counted money before i buy anything, see if i have enough. i think that was college and during the early years at work. several years later, i was counting not the money, but the calories. and then for the last 3 months, i had been counting money AND calories. tough job.
the starbucks indulgence significantly dwindled, despite the fact that there are at least five shops near our office. from whenever-i-can, to 3-times-a-week, then on-fridays-only, and finally if-i-can't-help-myself.

it's a humbling experience, you know, having so little money. but not totally a bad experience. i said goodbye to being an impulsive buyer, which i'd been struggling since like, forever. every last penny is spent wisely, even the annoying 1 yen coins. i make sure all provisions stored in the fridge are consumed before hitting the grocery again. well, that's partly because the fridge is minuscule. i don't buy stuffs i don't need and i don't buy chow i'm not sure i'll be able to eat before the expiration date. in japan, mind you, almost everything has expiry dates, but that's another story. i've parted with the takaw-tingin attitude. well, almost. i don't have an OCD whatsoever, i am just disciplining myself. it's long overdue anyway.

it's been three months since i came here and i haven't bought any pair of footwear. yey! i used to believe that only when you have oodles of money can you enjoy shopping (or window shopping, just in case). but just recently, out of boredom, i hit one posh mall in tokyo without any money. i realized that malling while knowing you cannot buy anything could still be marvelous. you won't split your head mulling over if your monthly budget would recover if you buy 'just this one super nice thing here' and the 'matching pair, of course'. and since it's really nice, i 'might as well buy one for my mom/sis/bestfriend/etc'. =)
no difficult decisions, you can just devote all your time ogling at stuffs.

for the last 3 months, no gym workouts, no dentist appointments, no overtime work (thank you, God!). just window shopping, sightseeing, taking photographs, hanging out with friends with pockect money just enough for food and fare. ironic, it's like i came to this horribly fast-paced city to take a break, to de-stress. at least from mental and emotional stress, anyway. (but to be honest, if i had ample money, i'd been stressed. because i still can't afford ALL i WANT). boink!

not counting the daily routine during the rush hours of the tokyo subway, when i'm totally convinced that i'm about to die pretending to be a mackerel in a can of sardines, i've never felt so peaceful in my life. there are still pressures at work, something to do with outrageously great expectations, but who cares. finding peace of mind and heart in such circumstances is just..surprising.

life is not perfect, but it isn't scourging you all the time either. there are moments of shall we say, reprieve. and i fervently pray that it'd last for as long as i'm broke. hehehe. otherwise, my hands might itch and swipe the Mastercard. and i so do not like to do that.

i'm not being a pessimist here, but i know one day, the trip to the underside will start again. got to be armed and ready for that =)