チェリー

i was watching a music-oriented show on TV (Hey!Hey!Hey! @Fuji TV) and they had a sort of tribute to the Japanese band, Spitz. they showed mtv clips of their most popular songs over the years. one song sounded familiar - my mind offered me a mental picture of Timezone and that drum-simulator thingy with colored circles. a few web search and i found this link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDVJi3EhOV4

also checked out the lyrics. i think it's kinda sweet. but the sweetest thing is the title, "チェリー" - my name in Japanese. harharhar!
(i know the song doesn't have anything to do with me. but isn't it cool when a song has your name in the title? )

Translated lines from the song:
By just the sound of "I love you"
I feel like I become stronger
Some day, right here,
I want to see u again

Inventory

personal asset inventory as of today:

what i DON'T have:
1. social life
2. lovelife
3. money
4. motivation
5. self esteem
6. skills
7. peace of mind
8. future
9. reason to wake up in the morning

what i have:
1. frustrating assignment
2. binding contract

not good enough

i may not be as shiny as you think i should be, but still i gave my best.
sorry, i'm just not good enough (for you).


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


early this evening a friend told me they're going to chill out because one of our friends is feeling down. God, I miss that, hanging out with friends after a long day or anytime we felt like it.
now my options whenever i feel like dashing to a speeding train are (a) Overeat, (b) Eat my shorts, (c) Curse the cruel world, or (d) Sit on it.
overeating will make me fat, and why on earth should i eat my shorts!? i wouldn't dare curse the cruel world because the people i love are still living on it. SO, i have to sit on it then...

Dying pair of sandals

bought this pair out of impulse - unplanned and impractical. although bought from a known brand, it's not meant for rugged walking or for extended strolling. it's just for you know, for pa-cute purposes.but i really liked this pair, and it fits perfectly on my feet. needless to say, i over-used it.

the sandals finally gave up on me. the flowerette on one of the pair fell i don't know where, maybe somewhere around osaka station. the flowerettes fell off a couple of times before but i always put them back using rugby. yesterday, two straps plucked out.

i went straight to the shopping street to scout for a possible replacement (it has to be comfortable and open-toed since it's summer and very humid). after two hours elbowing with other shoppers, i wanted to cry. i just couldn't find anything that made the cut. (well, actually i found some fabulous and sturdy pairs but they're way beyond the budget so they don't count).

maybe i'll just have to stay at home until summer ends, wait for the climate to cool down so i don't need to wear a breezy pair of sandals. not stingy, just no money

Making waves

as i said many times before, if boredom can kill a person I would be dead by now.It's not like I don't like my work, it's just that ..I'm bored. my daily and weekend routines have always been the same for 3 months, and it won't probably change until the end of the year. we are doing maintenance work here. unless there's an upgrade or migration of something, there's not much else to do. i suppose i could study any geeky technolgy, but i'm so fed up with that, my brain is crammed with so many scripting languages that would last me a lifetime. i could do other research, but then i sit right beside my sempai and he pace quite a lot around the area and i sort of think it is impolite on my part that he sees me working on things that is not remotely related to my work description. i believe they're paying good money to my company for an honest 8-hour work a day to be a full-time technical alalay, not some opportunistic wannabe taking advantage of their hefty bandwith.
sometimes i just wish their paranoid servers here would fail so we'd have something to do. like parsing the web server's log files containing more than 30,000 lines each.

meanwhile... our own company's higher ups are expecting us to make big waves, big enough for them to surf with and bask gloriously, no less.

sorry boss, not fond of making waves. but i'll do my best. . .

heck i always do my best
i do my best to stay sane after three months of total social life absence. ..three months and counting...