Emergency leave

few days ago i was babbling about insane ways of getting flat tummy - fast. one of which is to eat 'overdue' food then get diarrhea and dump everything. now i have LBM (darn). but i didn't eat anything bad, intentionally at least... however, for the past two days i kind of ate like there's no tomorrow, grabbing anything whithin my arm's reach. maybe dark chocolate and fried eggplants and citrus (among others) don't go well together inside the stomach. or maybe it's because of the white pasta...
sleeping helps blotting out the pain, but i got woken up by the earthquake (blasted earthquake!).

NBSB

For a few months early this year, I cringed whenever I'm reminded of the fact. Like its the stamp of being an official bore and a certified manang.

My fear actually was not of being alone, of being single and boyfriendless for 24 years, but of being called a loser, an oddball just because i do not adhere to the social standard of getting into a relationship at least by early twenties. however, if my being a loser comes with being content of what i have, being happy of the things i do, living life by the day savoring every moment - good or bad, and smile each time i daydream about being the woman i want to be in the future or finally doing things i've always dreamed of doing, then, being such an oddball is not so bad after all.
now i'm not just telling this to myself, i really am happy. couldn't ask for anything more. my only regret is that i spent a few months depressed and undecided - whether to be at peace of how i find me as i know me, or see myself by society's standards.

hell, i'll listen to myself. that's what my being stubborn is for >:)

The contest and the lady

morning in the office was sluggish. right after booting the computer, i immediately plugged two USB HDs to the computer then moved some 2Gigabytes worth of files from one external hard disk to the other. what was i thinking! the computer's processing slowed down to a crawl, it took a several seconds just to shift windows. darn. i should have used another computer for this migration, couldn't do anything else swiftly until this is finished. on the other hand, this is an opportunity for me to stare at nothing without feeling too guilty. so i dawdled.

the afternoon was a different story. our team was drafted for some company contest. participating groups would make a presentation about their work, et. al. the top three presentors will go further to the next level competition. anyway, i was not sure which auditorium it would be, so my manager suggested we go together. that meant he walk, i sprint. even with Japanese standard of walking speed, he really walks fast, as if hounded by something.

in the auditorium, the gathered workaholics were subdued and formal. i expected some buzzing activities common during minutes before a competition. the presentations were all in Japanese, formal-business mode. therefore i could only sift around 5% of what they babbled about. i spent the first few moments oggling the high tech gizmos in the vicinity. at the sight of the familiar signal lamps - green, yellow, red - memories of grade school days' competitions came to mind. i kind of miss it, the excitement and jitters moments before contests begin. the way it made you feel nervous and go to the comfort room but nothing would come out. such reminiscing bought me extra time before droning. after the first presentors were done, the panelists started to ask questions. my attention focused to the only lady in the panel. from the elegant hairdo and make-up, to the tailored suit and power shoes, she exuded confidence. if i sit next to her, i'd look like a kid that needs scrubbing. i wondered what did it take to get her there? did she needed to give up some few important things in her life? is this her calling? does she also have bad hair days? how does she handle pressure? yoga, spa, chocolates?

am i gonna be like her someday? is that what i want?
( i like the suit and the shoes though ^o^ )

oh btw, our guys made it to the top three =)

Backpacking in Nikko

a narrative of jinxes and surprises..

We didn't exactly plan to do some backpacking, but that's what we ended up doing. Sort of... :D

It was a cloudy day when my roommate and her 'little' sister set forth to Nikko, somewhere up up north of Tokyo. Armed with extra memory cards, batteries, chargers, and even a laptop (for good measure), off we went. Learning from past outdoor activities, we made sure we will not run out of resources for documenting every bend of the trip. We didn't mind that a typhoon was coming and we were not familiar of the place we were going. We'll just find the right places when we get there.
The last leg of the train ride was long, it was a completely different world when we got off the train. We had a quick lunch then set out to find our hostel. We couldn't quite afford the fancy hotels so we opted the cheaper inns. According to the map from the internet, the hostel is just 25 minutes by foot from the station. There were supposed to be a lot of landmarks so it wouldn't be a problem. Too bad we fell for that... After 10 minutes or so and passing the station over several times, the drizzle turned to a steady downpour. And we haven't seen any of the landmarks yet. We got ourselves to a supermarket, where I bought a toothbrush, then a little later to a hockey training center or something. By this time our printout of the map was wet and smudged. The man there told us we were going the opposite direction and gave us a brief instruction on how to get to the hostel. He said we were supposed to follow the main road to the bridge. But we should not cross the bridge, turn right just before it. Okay then, and we went along. After a lifetime, we still could not find the said bridge and there's no Route 120 either. Mi's and Bo's socks were already wet and I was out of breath because we were going a little uphill. We couldn't flag a taxi now, we were too far from the taxi stand already. Damn this 1st world country where you can not hop into a taxi anywhere and there aren't any trisikels, or trisicols, whatever. Before turning back to get a taxi near the station, we took our chances and turned right. Not a big road, but it may lead us to somewhere. It was a dead end, but behold, we could see the elementary school complex at a distance. The hostel is somewhere near the school according to the map. But first we needed to get to the school then figure out where's the hostel. We found ourselves passing through a muddy path then went down through slippery rocks. Then crossed a big bridge over troubled, frothing, brown water (must be because of the typhoon). Then crossed the highway. Then looked for a way to go to the back of the school. Then the first glimpse of the hostel! It was on top of a hill! When it rains, it pours..



It was so much relief to be in our room after checking in. The place is quite nice - cozy and clean. Only there aren't food available, no canteen or instant noodles vending machine. Meals have to be ordered beforehand, and we didn't do that. The place is at least 2 kilometers away from civilization and we still have two meals to go before getting there. One thing we didn't bring in abundance - food. They had a small kitchen where you could cook your own food. We had three mini instant noodles. We boiled water, and savored every bit and drop of our precious instant noodles. All the time we could hear the clanging of the plates of the dinning room nearby, for those who had proper dinner. With nothing else to eat, we tropped back to our room. It was only 7 o'clock. We're still hungry and nowhere to go. So Mi got her X40, and rummaged through the files. At least we got two episodes of Joey, and two movies - Mean Girls and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to divert hunger. I wasn't able to finish ESotSM because I got a headache from the lighting of the room. I forced myself to sleep.



Sunday morning and without breakfast we get on with our "backpacking". The weather was still gloomy but there was no rain. We dropped by at Skylark to have breakfast. Mi and Bo used the mega hand drier in the bathroom to dry their shoes, hehehe.

After some discussion and consultation with the tourism people , we boarded the bus that would take us to Kegon, where the famous waterfall is. The ride went uphill and we passed by 'the Bridge' and Route 120 we were looking the day before. Couldn't believe it was that far, and that we stumbled to that shortcut. Hail the guardian angels!

An hour or so and we were at Kegon. Even though the fog was quite thick, you could still make out the orange tints on the treetops. Few minutes walk to the waterfall site. The sound of bubbling water was very audible even from a distance, but not even a drop of water is visible because of the fog. We took the elevator (with extra charge, of course) to go 100 meters down to the lower level observatory to have closer look at the water. The elevator was creepy by the way, built around 1920. Anyway, it was still misty below but we could see the frothing. The waterfall itself is not that grand, the ones in Iligan City are more majestic, but during autumn and especially on a clear day, the orange and red leaves of the surrounding trees make the scene so magnificent. It was not that autumn yet so the leaves were still yellowish and some orangey. On that foggy day, it looked sort of..enigmatic. Or its just my imagination..

Moments later we were again on the bus going back to town. Next destination, Tobu World Square. A big park featuring miniature models of the world's greatest architectures (scale: 1/25). Some train rides, then 800m walk! Its almost a kilometer(wtf!) By the time we got there, it was so gloomy and there was a threat of rain. And we were hungry.
After grabbing some sandwich and fries, we dashed to the miniature thingies. Oh they were beauties. If shot on the right angles, they'd look like the real thing in the picture. My favorites were the Tokyo train station(with battery-operated local and bullet trains moving around) , the cathedrals in Europe, the Great Wall, and the Parthenon. I was quite disappointed that the model of one of my dream places to visit - the Colloseum - was made of some reddish material and it looked quite eerie. Made me think of the brutal side of the real Colloseum's history.



We went out of the park around 7pm and ate dinner at the nearest Skylark. Bo developed an addiction to their "Chicken Karage" and me of taking pictures of their desserts.
After dinner, we took our backpacks and tired asses to the train station to start our way back home.

Angels and Demons

I just finished reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons. I have also read his Davinci Code a few months back. There are similarities on the characters and plot of the two novels, but its not a big thing for me really. The research the writer has done was fantastic. I find A&D more interesting because of the arguments about 'The Debate' - science vs. religion. But I think his treatment of religion (particularly Catholicism) is too academic. Just the institutionalized system aspect of it, having a set of beliefs, practices, ideals and yes, 'skeletons in the closet'. There's so much more about faith and religion than what is reckoned in the novels. But I don't expect him to get it quite exactly because I don't think he is a believer himself (I could be wrong, of course).
You have to have faith to fully grasp it. And when you do, you won't have enough words to describe it. Faith's ought to be lived; if you rationalize it too much you'll probably end up losing it.

SSDD

Same shit, different day.

This is a kind of day which I am really familiar. Too familiar than I wish. For today, writing a blog is my idea of intermission to keep me from zoning out. The effect of caffeine in a cup of coffee only lasts a few seconds.

The common denominator of these so-called 'SSDDs' is my manager committing to something with unreasonable schedule. It wouldn't be a problem for me if he is the one who'll do the work. But it's technically my job, so he wouldn't volunteer to do the extra work, would he? He could at least inform me before giving his word to the other team. But why would he do that, he's the manager, right? Then someone's going to a have a weeklong vacation next week, and I'll cover for her work while she's gone. Then another person is also having a week off next week so I'll have to finish a lot of things by this week before he leaves. If I'm the one going for a vacation, I don't leave them extra work, do I?

I berate myself everytime I feel bitchy because of work. I am supposed to be used to all these pressures. I am, I wish I could be numb to it as well. I wish I could just shrug off my manager's periodic unreasonable demands with a raise of an eyebrow, but all I feel is my patience getting shorter and shorter. I flare up with just about anything. Darn...